The cool breeze billowed under my dress as I turned the corner. He was waiting. Not really what I was hoping for but I guess you get to a point where there can't be any more waiting. My dress was carefully chosen, pressed and preened not once but twice, tonight was the highlight of my month.
Ok my year.
So as he stands at the end of the lonely street, as the light fades and the dusk embarks, I wonder whether he will ever live up to the dream. I knew how it was going to go though. The same as all those other nights.
Ok the same as those two other nights.
Polite conversation. A little flirting perhaps. You try my food, no no, this is so good, you try mine. A little banter, a little coy smiling. An spoken code of loneliness that only members of the club can so aptly hone in on.
But as I get closer something seems to get stuck in my throat. The vague feeling of gasping for air starts to linger. It's like my mind knows what's coming before I do. Just as I know things can't be right, I see him smile. It's not a smile like I've seen those other members of the club smile at me before. Something a little darker. Something a little smugger. A knowing smile.
It's only then that I see the dusk light glint off the knife.
Well that's it for internet dating laughs a hysterical part of my mind. No time for jokes. Frozen like a rabbit in the headlights, there's no time to mull over my contribution to life, to the world. There's no time to think of the loved ones that I'll miss. That'll miss me if I have any luck. No, real life isn't like that. When your time's up it's quick. Like a short sharp blow to the back of your head with a brick.
My mind ponders the pain of the knife before it even penetrates. It's like a numbness. There's nothing. No feeling no pain no agony. I think maybe I am screaming but I can't be sure. I see that smile on his face again as I fall to the ground. I know the cool hard concrete is there, but my body seems to fall further through, like there's nothing there to catch me.
A little humour while I depart. Funny old mind. I look up at him and think that perhaps he would have made a good father for my ever so carefully planned future family. Funny old mind. And as I know that life is slipping away I can feel the stillness encroach into every inch of my bones.
And all I can see is my beautiful yellow dress. Radient against the vanishing light. Ripped and torn, bloodied and stained. Preened and pressed it was ready for a future so far removed from this. Funny old mind.
Copyright © 2008 Rob Richardson. All Rights Reserved.